to think that i only have four exams left until i never have to leave school is quite worrying. my headteacher told me today that i'd be left to my own devices. clearly, she doesn't know what my devices are and is unaware that she is giving me terrible advice.
however, unlike the usual drug fueled and random sex filled summer i had last summer, i feel that this summer it will be a slightly more dignified affair. i've decided that i will give up smoking, anal sex and mdma in hope that i will become a more pleasant individual.
i know this sounds ridiculous and unlike me, but maybe it's time i grew up; took hold and treasured what i have close. this summer will now be filled with going to london, teaching english in my new job,  ludicrous amounts of drawing and possibly finding a summer romance.
who knows? maybe i will become the person i always aspired to be.

meanwhile, i sit here avoiding revision with the overhanging feeling of disappointment nigh. maybe if i do well in my gcses i'll buy myself a new cat. or maybe, i'll still be the same arty 'hipster' shit i always was. hopefully, i'll cheer the fuck up and stop being so melodramatic about every situation that faces me.

You're not unlucky, you're just not very smart.These things will never leave you - they're as close as you can getTo a blueprint for the future - but you can call it fate.It's like these days I have to write down almost every thought I've held,So scared I am becoming of forgetting how it felt,And these fears they will unravel me one day,But still I am afraid. 

 this is how i feel when i remember that i'm meant to be at a crucial point in my life. i'm meant to be worried about how they will affect the future and apply that to my work ethic, but currently, i have no future plans and i have a lust for being young forever. 
when you're young you dream of being a popstar or a vet or a mum but i've never shared those desires. from the age of four, i noticed that girls never got as exciting a toy at christmas compared to boys and maybe that started my drive to change life for women. or maybe i've just always been a massive argumentative bitch.


i should probably drink some tea now, get dressed and REVISE now

xoxoxooxoxo

WOW, it's been almost a month since I blogged and frankly I wish I could say I was doing something relatively interesting during that time. So quickly, a run through of my melodramatic and somewhat boring current life:

1. I went to the Hunger Games European Premiere. More importantly, I met Katie Price. Now, I'm not one for judging people until I've met them but I now feel I can say this. How dare someone so FAKE and REPULSIVE claim to be a feminist role model? Feminism should be about embracing being a radiant, confident female - not making yourself into a sexual object for male pleasure. I'm all for body alterations but when someone labels themselves as a feminist and they happily promote objectifying themselves AND do not act stupid and vulnerable so males feel more powerful.

2. I got an A in my Media and English coursework. I decided to focus my Magazine Study in Media based around Cosmopolitan and feminism as such - hardly surprising eh? However, I am appalled at how Cosmopolitan claims to be 'feminist', 'pro-woman' etc. The majority of articles are still fixated around women being sexual objects, sex tips to PLEASE THE MALE ONLY and diet tips as well as how to look good. I thought this magazine was meant to provide confidence and encouragement to women - to remind us about how we do deserve to have a right to free speech. Everything in that magazine in merely skin deep and incredibly SHALLOW. Hopefully, my magazine 'Passion For Pussy' juztaposed Cosmo's 'ideas' of feminism and gave a real outlook and indepth view into feminism and THINGS THAT WOMEN SHOULD READ.

3. I emailed Cosmo to complain about it's comment and wrote that as a 16 year old young woman, many other girls my age were being influenced by it's content as well as older women. They emailed back saying that they couldn't reply to my personal email because as I specified, I was 16 and not 18. What age can I be allowed to be a feminist, Cosmo?

4. I was in Clinton Cards and came across a truly horrific card. I simply don't understand the joke factor. Why the HELL is this a card and how was it even allowed to be produced? I didn't see one card stating 'funniest racist joke' or 'funniest homophobic joke' not that they should be permitted of course. I just think that if we are going to work together to stop sexism being such a socially accepted "joke" then cards should NOT BE produced mocking and ENCOURAGING such things. I'm still awaiting a reply from Head Office.

5. Finally, I got my prom dress which was a bargain at £45 from Urban Outfitters and is something I would definitely wear again. I'm pairing it with creepers or Doc Martens because being my height of just over 5ft would mean that I'd look out of proportion wearing heels and plus, WHY DO PEOPLE WEAR HEELS WHEN THEY HURT YOUR FEET? SILLY WOMEN! Unfortunately my Headteacher wouldn't allow me to attend prom in a suit or in a dress made from duct tape - and as for the shoes, i don't think I'm even going to bother asking.

WHAT'S A GIRL TO DO?!?!?! uhuh

THINGS I’M THINKING ABOUT AT 12:39 BY GRACE CANELLE-DANCE
i like boys who like cats and cats that like boys. I’m on the 67th page of my book and i’m laughing at the fact i have the 69th page soon. I like milk but only the green milk and i’ve never really been keen on milkshakes or dogs. In fact i hate dogs, i’m petrified. I can never remember important things like equations and facts but i can always remember the lyrics to my favourite songs or even my not so favourites (ahem, nelly, sclub). My room is like my brain, full of junk and other than having lots of cats i have no aspirations in my life and that probably should worry me but it doesn’t. The only things i think about nowadays is when the next time i’ll see my friends are and what we’ll do when we see one another. Because, as i’ve found, all the best people live far away. My favourite month is winter, i like the power cuts and the big jumpers, i like having the excuse to stay in. I don’t mind summer though but being cold is so much better than being hot. My favourite poem is “I want to be yours” by John Cooper Clarke, which i suppose can be seen as a generic teenage ‘love’ song written by a punk poet (slight twist) but “i want to be your vacuum cleaner, breathing in your dust” always makes me giggle and the lady of shalott is only good when i can remember most of it from analysing it in year 4, “willows witen, aspens quiver, little breezes dusk and shiver” i like muffled words and shouting yr favourite songs loud, i like standing in crowds of passionate fans and i like sitting alone in the woods, i try my best to understand people but throughout high school every friendship (other than two or three) i’ve ever made has been thrown back in my face. I over use the words; chill, party, rollin, cruisin, fab, ace, rad and cheeky. I don’t even know what i’m writing and i really need to sleep before i completely loose the plot.

School, the workplace, a breeding ground for slut-shaming and sexist remarks taken lightly. Living in a society where size 2 is the new size 8 and size 12 makes you overweight. Where getting honked at and your bum squeezed by desperate creepy men is a compliment. Where anyone who calls themselves a feminist is wrong, and women who like sex are sluts. how many people have you slept with? why does it matter? I am a woman, i deserve respect, i will not make you a sandwich and my place is not in the kitchen. my place is the classroom, the courtroom, on the frontline, breaking the cliques room, of male dominance. Why should i carry a rape alarm? Why does society teach don't get raped instead of don't rape? it's okay to shave, it's okay not to shave, wear your skirts short OR long, boobs out or in, just remember always have your head held high, feminism is the radical idea that women are people.