to think that i only have four exams left until i never have to leave school is quite worrying. my headteacher told me today that i'd be left to my own devices. clearly, she doesn't know what my devices are and is unaware that she is giving me terrible advice.
however, unlike the usual drug fueled and random sex filled summer i had last summer, i feel that this summer it will be a slightly more dignified affair. i've decided that i will give up smoking, anal sex and mdma in hope that i will become a more pleasant individual.
i know this sounds ridiculous and unlike me, but maybe it's time i grew up; took hold and treasured what i have close. this summer will now be filled with going to london, teaching english in my new job,  ludicrous amounts of drawing and possibly finding a summer romance.
who knows? maybe i will become the person i always aspired to be.

meanwhile, i sit here avoiding revision with the overhanging feeling of disappointment nigh. maybe if i do well in my gcses i'll buy myself a new cat. or maybe, i'll still be the same arty 'hipster' shit i always was. hopefully, i'll cheer the fuck up and stop being so melodramatic about every situation that faces me.

amō, that means to love in latin

okay, so i am single and everyone keeps asking "are you okay baby?"

of course i am you silly children. i am sixteen years old, i do not know what love is, i merely understand a deep friendship. sex is a hobby - not an act of commitment and those who say that it is, are bullshitting. how at sixteen can you understand something so intimate and passionate? what even is love?

love

1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

2. a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection for another person.

3. sexual passion or desire.

4. a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person.
5. as in a term of endearment using direct address towards another

“Love is something eternal; the aspect may change, but not the essence.” Vincent van Gogh

“Everybody can be great… because anybody can serve. You don’t have to have a college degree to serve. You don’t have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. you only need a heart full of grace. a soul generated by love.” Martin Luther King

“To say the truth, reason and love keep little company together now-a-days.” William Shakespeare

“If you’ve lost your faith in love and music then the end won’t be long.” Pete Doherty

genuinely, i do not think anyone knows, it's simply an invention of humankind to fill a void in their life. so what if you're ninety and have twenty cats? you're happy and that's it, being in love doesn't mean you're content with life at all.