to think that i only have four exams left until i never have to leave school is quite worrying. my headteacher told me today that i'd be left to my own devices. clearly, she doesn't know what my devices are and is unaware that she is giving me terrible advice.
however, unlike the usual drug fueled and random sex filled summer i had last summer, i feel that this summer it will be a slightly more dignified affair. i've decided that i will give up smoking, anal sex and mdma in hope that i will become a more pleasant individual.
i know this sounds ridiculous and unlike me, but maybe it's time i grew up; took hold and treasured what i have close. this summer will now be filled with going to london, teaching english in my new job,  ludicrous amounts of drawing and possibly finding a summer romance.
who knows? maybe i will become the person i always aspired to be.

meanwhile, i sit here avoiding revision with the overhanging feeling of disappointment nigh. maybe if i do well in my gcses i'll buy myself a new cat. or maybe, i'll still be the same arty 'hipster' shit i always was. hopefully, i'll cheer the fuck up and stop being so melodramatic about every situation that faces me.

i love life.

rodrigo met me at victoria wearing three inch heels.

today consisted of the following

• eating mcdonalds x3
• getting baked with ed
• ordering dominoes
• dyeing my hair when i shouldn't have
• getting excited to see harry, joe, vicky, lux, rodrigo, boo and zora again

xoxoxoxo

hello. i'm gracie and i like to smoke marlboro gold. 

You're not unlucky, you're just not very smart.These things will never leave you - they're as close as you can getTo a blueprint for the future - but you can call it fate.It's like these days I have to write down almost every thought I've held,So scared I am becoming of forgetting how it felt,And these fears they will unravel me one day,But still I am afraid. 

 this is how i feel when i remember that i'm meant to be at a crucial point in my life. i'm meant to be worried about how they will affect the future and apply that to my work ethic, but currently, i have no future plans and i have a lust for being young forever. 
when you're young you dream of being a popstar or a vet or a mum but i've never shared those desires. from the age of four, i noticed that girls never got as exciting a toy at christmas compared to boys and maybe that started my drive to change life for women. or maybe i've just always been a massive argumentative bitch.


i should probably drink some tea now, get dressed and REVISE now